My Descent to Hell

[bob600]

Isaiah Chapter 59:- They hatch cockatrice' eggs

I was under the impression that a cockatrice is hatched from a cock’s
egg, I tried to purchase some from my local supermarkets, to no avail.
Can you tell me where they can be purchased, and advise where I can
buy food now that I am banned from my local supermarkets.

Exodus 16:4 Then said the Lord unto Moses, Behold, I will rain bread
from heaven for you.

Is there any possibility that you could intervene with the Lord and
ask for the raining of the odd cookie or bun on me, I am getting
awfully hungry now that I have been declared a danger to society and
not allowed into any of my local shops.

Isaiah 36:12 :- that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own
piss.

In the absence of the promised raining of food and suffering from the
terrible pangs of hunger I sampled the above menu as suggested by the
Lord. Could you suggest a good remedy to relive acute vomiting,
nausea, diarrhoea and stomach cramps.

4 Kings 2:23-24 And he (Elijah ) went up from thence unto Bethel: and
as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of
the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go
up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed
them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out
of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

Another side effect of my current diet is that all my hair has fallen
out, and as a result the local homies ridicule me endlessly, I did try
luring them to the woods to be devoured by bears but failing in that
and being a God-fearing, gun-toting American, I took 40 of them out
with my Uzi. For some reason this seems to have aggravated the local
Police, and excited Sky News, despite my clear explanation that this
was the Lords punishment for mockery of baldness. I now find myself
homeless and on the run.

Acts Chapter 5. The judgment of God upon Ananias and Saphira, killed
by the Lord because they would not sell all they possessed and give it
to the Priests.

I have been kindly taken and sheltered by some God fearing pilgrims
who live under a bridge, and all they want in return is that I give
them all I possess, they say God will be angry if I don’t. I have no
problem with this as it sounds pretty logical, but I can’t understand
what God wants with an old Ford, a tin watch, an empty Uzi, and some
old clothes.

Deuteronomy 23:1 No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male
organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.

Having decided to hang on to my tin watch, (It was a gift from the
National Rifle Association, signed by God, I mean Charlton Heston
himself) I suffered a severe beating from the kindly God fearing
people which was understandable as I did not give them everything I
had, in the course of the beating suffering crushed testicles,
resulting in the surgical removal of my damaged organ.

I have only three questions,
1. being on the verge of death, how am I going to overcome that ban
2. how do I pay the surgeon now that I am destitute
3. where the hell am I going to get those damned cockatrice' eggs that
started this whole thing off in the first place.

[zencycle]

From: "bob600" <bo...@nireland.com>

>
> Deuteronomy 23:1 No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male
> organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.

I guess that leaves most married men out of the kingdom of heaven.

[bob600]

On 26 Jun, 23:02, "zencycle" <funkmaste...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> From: "bob600" <b...@nireland.com>

>
>
>
> > Deuteronomy 23:1 No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male
> > organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.
>
> I guess that leaves most married men out of the kingdom of heaven.

Bob600 replies:- Not you as well?

[Trance Gemini]

Now this is a new one to me. Funny.

--
------------------------------------------------
Trance Gemini
Irrationally held "truths" may be more harmful than reasoned errors.
-- Thomas Henry Huxley

Which God Do You Kill For? --Unknown

Love is friendship on fire -- Unknown

[bob600]

Bob600 replies:- Thank you TG, the fault with the former one was that
it was not original so this is an original, so it was new to me as
well until I wrote it.

[Trance Gemini]

On Thu, Jun 26, 2008 at 6:25 PM, bob600 <bo...@nireland.com> wrote:

Bob600 replies:- Thank you TG, the fault with the former one was that
it was not original so this is an original, so it was new to me as
well until I wrote it.

You wrote it? Cool. It was good. Can I post it on my New Atheism blog (you'll be credited :-)?

Do you mind?

[Checkers]

frequenting the funny side of the world and being of Irish decent
myself, i have a sense of humor. so;

> I have only three questions,
> 1. being on the verge of death, how am I going to overcome that ban

chx
if you lived in Africa you'd know how and where to forage for food (in
your neighbor's kitchen at 2 in the mornin')

> 2. how do I pay the surgeon now that I am destitute

chx
you can pay with that tin watch, you won't be needing it where you
going.

> 3. where the hell am I going to get those damned cockatrice' eggs that
> started this  whole thing off in the first place.

chx
jest yer luck old baldy, i have three left, how many do you need...um,
forget that offer, you are broke. get away from me you bum

;)

[bob600]

Bob600 replies:- You know I can never refuse you TG, tidy it up a bit
if you wish as I wrote it a bit quick and did not have time to re-read
it.

On 26 Jun, 23:44, "Trance Gemini" <trancegemi...@gmail.com> wrote:

[Trance Gemini]

On Thu, Jun 26, 2008 at 7:17 PM, bob600 <bo...@nireland.com> wrote:

Bob600 replies:- You know I can never refuse you TG, tidy it up a bit
if you wish as I wrote it a bit quick and did not have time to re-read
it.

Thanks!

[Trance Gemini]

It's done :-)

[Keith MacNevins]

But it is okay for the pope to wear ruby red slippers with his dress, purple embroidery and dunce cap.

--
Ambassador From Hell

[zencycle]

From: "bob600" <bo...@nireland.com>

The late Sam Kinnison had a a part of his routine where he talked about the
emasculation of the married man. He would unplug the microphone from the
cord, and then in a falsetto voice of a wife say "Now, if you need this,
it'll be either in my purse, or in the refrigerator".

[bob600]

Bob600 replies:- Its not like that in my house, I make all the big
decisions like should we go to war in Iraq, or what size of interest
cut would help the economy, my wife only makes small decisions, like
what we spend our money on, where we live, the type of car we will
buy, the food we eat, mundane stuff like that. She's a sad case.

[bob600]

Bob600 replies:- Keith, its not politically correct to point the
finger at a mans personal preferences.

On 27 Jun, 06:14, "Keith MacNevins" <kmacnev...@gmail.com> wrote:
> But it is okay for the pope to wear ruby red slippers with his dress,
> purple embroidery and dunce cap.
>

> On 6/26/08, zencycle <funkmaste...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > From: "bob600" <b...@nireland.com>
>

[bob600]

Bob600 replies:- Be careful there Checkers, apparently a serpent will
hatched from a cockatrice' egg having the power to kill by its glance,
can you hear any knocking from with?

[bob600]

Bob600 replies:- And no changes either. Nice site by the way, I will
continue to visit.

[zencycle]

At least for once, he makes a reasonable point

--------------------------------------------------
From: "bob600" <bo...@nireland.com>
Sent: Friday, June 27, 2008 2:47 PM
To: "Atheism vs Christianity" <Atheism-vs-...@googlegroups.com>
Subject: [AvC] Re: My Descent to Hell

[Keith MacNevins]

Or the fact that someone asked his personal aide if the pope wears briefs or boxers. He replied, "Depends."

--
Ambassador From Hell

[Trance Gemini]

On Fri, Jun 27, 2008 at 3:36 PM, bob600 <bo...@nireland.com> wrote:

Bob600 replies:- And no changes either. Nice site by the way, I will
continue to visit.

Thanks :-)

It's intended to explore the entire range of atheists and their views on different topics as well as provide a little humor and fun along the way.

[Checkers]

On Jun 27, 8:53 pm, bob600 <b...@nireland.com> wrote:
> Bob600 replies:- Be careful there Checkers, apparently a serpent will
> hatched from a cockatrice' egg having the power to kill by its glance,
> can you hear any knocking from with?

chx
hey, i thought that was the snakes on medusa's head (concidering to
throw away these eggs;)

> > ;)- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

[bob600]

Bob600 replies:- No thats old hat.

[Checkers]

On Jun 29, 1:12 pm, bob600 <b...@nireland.com> wrote:
> Bob600 replies:- No thats old hat.

chx
i'll dump them eggs anyway ;)

> > > - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -