Perspective

[Mary B]

I don't know if anyone even reads these messages any more. But ya
never know, so I am going to go ahead and share some current thoughts.

I am confident in this one thing: That wherever I go, I am not alone.
The One High God, the Ancient of Days is right with me. Wow. Me. Just
think of it. Substitute your own name there - the "I" being you. I
don't have to go anywhere to talk with Him - don't have to find a
secret room or place in the woods, don't even really have to leave the
crowd I am with. Just ask Him.

We recently had our last pipeband competition of the season - my first
round with the band. It's been quite a year - also doing all the
parades and concerts. The one thing I can take from this year playing
the bagpipes is... it's only just begun. There are SO many variables!
How the weather affects the instrument, how grumpy (CROCHETY is more
the term) the instrument is in general, and how wonderful it all is on
the days when it is willing to cooperate. For a few minutes. To be a
piper requires some things: perserverance, patience, and TONS of
grace. And when all has been done and your pipes STILL fail you at the
last possible second, ... well that's the story here. That is what
happened Saturday, and I will tell you it was amazing. We are only a
small band - the minimum of pipers to compete in the grade five level
band is five pipers, and all summer, I have been that fifth piper - IN
MY FIRST COMPLETE YEAR OF PIPING with the band. When I was told I was
ready to work with the competition band, I saw it as a way to give
back to the band, who have taught me so much. Also it was a push to
learn far faster - to become better. I don't want to just play the
pipes to the point of being OK - I want to play them as well as I am
able to. But there is more than perfecting skills. There is the fact
that I carry the Kingdom of God within me. So when seeming defeat
comes along, how do we face it?

This is what happened: I mucked up my bass drone reed (there are a
total of four reeds within the whole instrument - one at the base of
each of the three pipes going up over our shoulder and a double reed
similar to an oboe or bassoon reed going into the chanter) just before
the last rehearsal for competition. I was loaned one, which worked
quite well for me. Practiced extra with it to make sure I had adjusted
well to the new circumstances. Went into competition with confidence,
for about the first time all summer. It was warm and very sticky at
the comp. And, predictably with what has happened all summer, my
chanter reed died. Totally. It got replaced, and we were good to go.
Competition was running early - do you believe it? Usually they're
running miserably late!!! Well, we were ready-ish, and headed over to
final tuning, and... in the very last run-through my bass drone
freaked out. WOW!!! All we had time to do was to disable the drone.
Without time to think about it, I headed into that circle with only my
tenor drones going, not having a CLUE as to where to stop breathing
into the instrument to not have the drones sound after the last note
of the tune. I tell you, it was an experience I have only had once
before - that I was not really the one in the situation - I had taken
a step back and was watching from a safe place. No, not out-of-body.
Just that Someone else was taking charge. (It was like when my life
was at stake in an operating room before Jenny was conceived. I nearly
went WITH the miscarried child. It was like it was happening to
someone else and I was watching from within.) My normal reaction to
the situation would have been to really freak out - more than the bass
drone did.

So I claim that I had a very total victory at that competition. We did
not do well - we are so small, and it turns out this competition is
huge - encompasses the entire eastern quadrant. There were hundreds of
pipers there! But it isn't ultimately how well you do. It's how well
you meet the circumstances!!!

Having done all that you can, STAND. Standing is an interesting
concept. The Lord fought my battle for me. It was not to have a
perfect performance in the piping sense. It was to stand in Him. It
was finding a treasure in the darkness.

One other thing I would like to share. You would not believe the chaos
and noise of a bagpipe band competition. It is unimaginable -
especially in a larger venue like this one. Every band has its place
to warm up, it's out in the open (well most of them are - the one in
NH was indoors. That HURT!) and all bands are playing to tune, get in
synch, etc. Trying to make all those crotchety instruments sound like
ONE instrument. The constant is the drums throbbing. And the drones -
named so because they only play ONE note. Without break. Picture that
- the throbbing, the constant roar, and all the chaos of how-many
tunes being played at the same time. The sound is EVERYWHERE!!! How
understandable that when the Scots went to war, they'd play all night,
and it would unsettle the enemy. Their own people were lulled to sleep
by it, lol.

AND THEN... the massed bands. Picture wave upon wave of pipes and
drums, lined up and playing the same tunes at the same time. I was in
the middle of that, playing Amazing Grace. Too busy playing it that
day to have it really sink in, but the next day, it hit me. OH MY GOD,
what an intense WORSHIP MOMENT! I have no clue who most of my fellow
pipers are, but I know that there was light shining in the darkness! I
was there. I carry the Kingdom of God within me. And I am sure that if
I asked Him, He would tell me I was not alone. Just like Elijah, he
would tell me that there are other prophets still in Israel.

SHINE ON!