Kids, "daily screen time," and does anyone know of a good timer?
Judine
--their policies for screen time for their kids, i.e., how much time do
you allow them to spend (weekly or daily) on the computer, playing
video games, or watching t.v. and at what age? (Any related hints or
tips are welcome.)
--recommendations for a timer that my son and I could use, ideally one
that counts down, to monitor his screen time.
Many thanks.
Norm
during the school year, We don't use a timer, though, which is a pain
since the adult becomes the time monitor.
an inexpensive digital kitchen timer should work fine. As long as the
is no need to be concerned about someone resetting the time.
We use the old fashioned spring driven kitchen timer for the times we
use a time limit for getting ready to go somewhere.
:: Norm ::
bringing you uninspired signatures since 1995
Betsy Schwartz
On Shabbat (Friday Sundown to Saturday Sundown) we turn off the TV and computers *entirely*, with the exception that we might watch a movie together. I do this, not because I'm an Orthodox Jew but because to me, turning the screens off makes it truly a day of rest and a time to reconnect with each other.
My daughter's with her dad half the time, and so usually Sunday is her catch-up-on-screen-time day (after Sunday school and when there's no soccer or homework)
In the summer we've become a bit more lax but I still limit the time, and keep an eye on what she's watching.
We have a great kitchen timer which I got at Walgreen's. Brand name is Kitchen Gourmet. Although it doesnt' say so ANYWHERE on the box, the nice thing about this timer is that it has 5-minute and 2.5-minute warning beeps, which really help with transitions.
Acolyte
spend behind the computer/TV/console/etc, but I was raised differently
and would like to submit the method my parents used. I rather liked it.
I was allowed to watch as much TV as I wanted, spend as much time on
the computer as I wanted, game as much as I wanted. The only rules were
simple: I was to finish my homework properly, and I was to arrive for
dinner on time and stay for the duration - no matter what game I was
playing or TV show was on. Failure to do so would mean that (temporary)
limits would be applied as punishment.
This meant: If I wanted to watch TV or use the computer, I would have
to plan it in such a way that I still had time to finish my homework
and spend the requisite 2 hours at the dinner table with my family (I
think I was better at planning when I was an 8 year old than I am now
as a 24 year old with a whole GTD system at my disposal). I was
responsible for how I spent my time. This taught me to be independent
and take responsibility for my own choices. If I failed to finish a
report, I'd screwed up and I'd have noone to blame but myself.
That aside, I consider that most of the applicable skills I have as a
young adult come from the many hours I spent behind a computer, using
graphic and DTP software or programming. Most of my language skills
come from watching TV (but that's probably a dutch thing, since we get
so much foreign language programming here). And though I really hate
bringing it up, my hand-eye coordination probably got one helluva boost
from all those computer games I played.
I have an edge over the other kids I knew in those days because I'm
technologically adept. I embrace technology because I was raised to use
it as a normal part of life. These days that's inevitable, tech is
everywhere around our children, but I still think it's a valid point.
I'd prefer to have my kids be on the rising part of the tech curve,
instead of dragging behind it with the bulk of the population.
Ziva
cute timer program (freeware) called TeaTimer. You can get it here:
http://www.herwig-henseler.de/software/teatimer.html
It is (supposedly) designed to let you know when your tea is steeped,
but you can set the timer for hours, minutes, seconds; or you cen set
it for a time of day. It counts down, and Big Ben sounds when your time
is up. There is also a "tea timer for lefties" included, for fun.
I use it even in preference to the very nice Presto timer I bought at
Amazon, because I get such a smile out of Big Ben instead of the
annoying and persistent beeps and buzzes of most timers.
Z
Jeffrey Windsor
father of six (and a half, currently) children, which adds a rather
complex element. With such a variance in ages and needs, monitoring
television for time, content, and making sure that everyone has her or
his homework done is a huge task.
Our solution is pretty straightforward, because non-straightforward is
unworkable. Even in smaller families, I suspect, good intentions get
lost in the busyness of family life. Plus, I've got enough of my own
stuff to do to keep track of how many hours Teddy has spent playing
Metroid. We have tried it and failed.
During the school year, there's really no TV or mindless computer time
after school. There's hardly time, anyway. Once we eat dinner and do
homework, it's quiet time for the little kids and so the tube stays
off. It was not an official rule, but it has become how our family
operates. They don't even ask.
Fridays after school and Saturdays are free-for-all. We don't limit
quantity at all (except for the general, "It's a beautiful day, turn
off the TV and play outside for a while!"), though our family
standards remain intact.
Sundays are our Sabbath, and we also do not watch TV much at all.
Occasionally we'll do something family-oriented, but it's almost
exclusively recorded media. I'll check the score of the Red Sox game
and check my email before bed to make sure no students have sent in a
desperate plea for help, but otherwise it's pretty silent. As Betsy
mentioned above, it's a great time to connect with each other. The
kids know it's how we operate and don't complain. Really.
We do have very specific and unvariable standards for quality. We do
not watch R-rated films, and no kid under 13 may watch a PG-13 without
explicit parental approval. Most PG movies are OK, though we reserve
the right to veto anything.
I've eliminated the channels I don't approve of my kids watching. It
was easy, since there's so many crap channels anyway. They don't have
the money for QVC, etc, and don't speak Spanish, so there's no need
for Univision. Along with those went any station I didn't like for my
kids. At our house, there's no Cartoon Network, though Nick is OK. We
recently put Disney back in the rotation, but it's about to get kicked
off out of sheer annoyance (More overacting tweens! Make them stop!
Self-referential commercials! Argh! Lip-syncing Pseudo Pop Stars!
EEEEiieeeee!). You get the idea. ESPN stays in despite questions about
Viagra because, hey, I have needs too.
Basically, for our family we have open windows for screen time when
they have free reign (within prescribed limits) and closed windows
when they have to find other amusements. Our rules are logical (and,
importantly, the kids also understand, accept, and share the logic)
and generally consistent. Plus, it's always satisfying then to see my
kids playing outside on a Saturday because, "I just didn't want to
watch anything."
--jw
(These work for the school kids. Those too young for school wind up
with some TV time every day, but it gets sandwiched in between chores
and the general chaos of large family life, and is always before
school gets out.)
Benjaloo
as well as other things. However, the computer is so seductive that
without limits they could stay there for a looooooong time. We used to
use the kitchen timer approach, but it didn't work that well, partly
because they'd sometimes want to take their time in a few chunks, and
partly because my wife and I didn't want to have to police the timer.
I ended up buying a program called MacMinder (Mac OS X only), which is
not too expensive and has a lot of flexibility. You limit each user
account--you can restrict which programs they can use, as well as total
time per day(or time on specific programs, I think--I don't use this
feature). There are warning beeps as the time limit approaches.
We created a "homework" account which allows full access to a word
processor but no browser. If they need to go online to do research,
they have to check in with one of us.
Their own accounts are unrestricted with regard to programs, but they
have a 30 min daily limit which they can slice and dice as they want.
So my 9 year old, who likes to play games, usually does it all in one
chunk. My 15 year old, who likes to IM and email, tends to go in
several short chunks, coming back to recheck the IM and email
periodically.
The program also allows you to extend the time on a given day (if you
want to give them a treat). I've found it very easy to use and very
useful.
We don't have video games, so that's out of the mix. We don't
explicitly limit TV time, but they don't often spend too long there; if
we notice that one or more of them has been in front of the TV for a
longish chunk of time, we boot them out.
This was a great question, Judine--thanks for bringing it up!
Ben
Betsy Schwartz
Chris Lott
chips (of various time denominations: 15, 30, and 60 minutes) through
doing chores, completing homework, grades, performing household
routines-- and they could redeem those chips for computer, television,
and telephone time. On the whole, they ended up with between 6-10
hours per week they could spend. Sounds like a lot, but spread between
internet, telephone, playstation, and television, it's not a lot.
Exempt from the time recording was legitimate student work,
educational computer use, and family movie times...
It worked quite well.
c
aphoria
monitoring PC usage.
Judine
them together!
Charles Starrett
and DockTimer:
http://homepage.mac.com/estebanuribe/software/eggtimer.html
http://www-public.tu-bs.de:8080/~y0007943/en/apps/
EggTimer wins on ease-of-use but the simplicity of DockTimer makes it
very charming. I alternate between them just for fun.
~~C
Sovi3t
on the computer. This might seem "fair", but it's not. It makes it seem
like books are the "good guy" and computers are the exact opposite, the
"bad guy".
Consider my case. I could easily spend 5 hours straight on the computer
for educational purposes. My parents do not even consider what I did on
the computer, they basically assume anything done on the computer makes
me stupid and I have to read books to make up for it. I spend almost
100% of my time on the computer reading articles, journals,
participating in discussions and debates, and researching things
(currently steam engines :) ).
Computers and technology are the future. Don't hold your children back.
I'm glad I was able to use computers this much because even at my age
of 15, I am already ahead of many older adults. I taught myself how to
program, and more recently how to design websites. I even have a
successful website that makes a few hundred dollars a month.
Basically, what I'm saying is that TV and computers are not the "bad
guys" (well, at least not all the time). Sure, there are some things
you'll want to restrict, like certain video games, cartoons, and other
things that don't stimulate your mind. But there are plenty of
educational shows on TV, and plenty of educational websites, games,
etc. You don't need to restrict your kids, you just need to guide them
along the right path.
Judine
even on t.v. And I'm open to technology providing new solutions --
we've just found that "Dance Dance Revolution" (on Playstation II) is a
great way to add exercise to my 10-year-old's routine. I am concerned
mostly about mindless video games and t.v.
Betsy Schwartz
When it comes to screen time, though , I just can't see that it's good for her to spend hours sitting and clicking. I would feel differently if she were programming or doing research, instead of playing Runescape or at popcap.com (fun site if you want to waste time! I have to limit my own time there!) But, I'm sure when she gets older she'll be able to make a case for that. Right now though she's only 8.5 and entering third grade, so she needs those hours of imaginative play.
Bryan Ewbank
> Consider my case. I could easily spend 5 hours straight on the computer
> for educational purposes. My parents do not even consider what I did on
> the computer, they basically assume anything done on the computer makes
> me stupid and I have to read books to make up for it. I spend almost
> 100% of my time on the computer reading articles, journals,
> participating in discussions and debates, and researching things
> (currently steam engines :) ).
you to spend your computer time doing other stuff. There's also good
books on software engineering that will put you light years ahead of
folks that simply know how to write code.
Some of that stuff is simply not available on-line. It's either too
old, or too restricted.
Norm
tinkering with the computer, either one is my idea of heaven, usually.
But when I was a teenager, my parents worried because I spent all my
time reading and no time playing basketball. My hobbies - photography,
art, reading, punk rock - all were very important to me and played a
part in what I did the rest of my life (punk rock less so.)
I guess what I am saying, Sovi3t, is I know how you feel, except that
I love reading and wouldn't mind being "forced" to read, assuming I
got to choose what to read. Like Bryan said, there are great books
about software engineering that you could be reading.
Much of the good stuff about anything that was developed pre-www is
going to be in books somewhere anyway. Though I bet there are some
really cool websites about hobbyist steam engines.
instigase
Does your actions (with respect to recreation) equally reflect the
goals you want to instill in your children?
Must everything recreational also be anti-educational? Does it matter?
Do they have alternatives that are equally engaging?
How do you share your interests with them?
How do you understand their interests?
We do impose restrictions as to what they can watch on TV and the
Internet and we actively monitor what our kids watch on TV and visit
online. However we simply dont have a rule for how much time they
spend on that versus "other things." I do boot them out when its nice
outside, but its not too hard to do that either. My wife and I simply
did not want to start a conflct (books vs. TV) where one should not and
does not exsist. We do encourage alternatives and our house is
littered with sports equipment, musical instruments, books and art
supplies thoughout the house. It is so littered with these "lo tech"
toys because they chose those diversions, on their own.
My wife and I have not only created a culture of diverse choices, but
we practice it. we are avid readers, and we have our books as well
strewn hither an yon. We make trips to the library at least on a
weekly basis. They see us read and hear us discuss the books we read.
We exercise and play sports with our children. We also play computer
games with my kids and watch tv, sometimes for hours!
The results -- well does it matter? They can read very well, they have
friends and are socially engaged, they use their imaginations as they
build forts and scare each other with monster stories. yada, yada,
yada...
I think it is important to examine and articulate the motivation for
placing such a restriction between yourself and your spouse as well as
your children. I think there is as much that is good from both a
recreational and educational on both forms of electronic media.
- An interesting thread!
Good Luck!
Chris Lott
attention span and creativity. So I *do* choose to limit the amount of
time the kids watch (I watch even less :) and it is really independent
from their other activities. I feel similarly about many computer
games and mindless browsing/im/chatting. I also believe some of these
activities can be somewhat addictive and lead to an unwillingness to
expend the mental effort to do other, ultimately more rewarding
activities.
However, as the earlier poster pointed out, computer skills are a good
thing and there are a lot of "good" things that can be done on the
computer. I work out some compromises-- I don't want my son playing
his games all the time, so his time is limited. But if he is building
his own bots or programming levels or whatever, I consider all that
"Educational" time that doesn't count.
I am firmly with you on practicing what you preach. I watch less
television, don't play any computer games except the occasional game
of chess, and they hear my timer going off to keep me on track when I
am surfing and playing in my own way...
I never use reading as a punishment or as a way to build up time to do
other things. It's up to them to figure out what they want to do, and
reading is one of those things... and it has to be its own reward.
I'm just as happy if they are outside playing with friends, drawing,
listening to music, or whatever else they might choose to do.
Rich Simon
Never worry about mine going to sites I don't want to or
sending/receiving emails to people I don't want them to (Mac); and can
time a single or groups of programs by usage, even stopping the timer
when in the background (to be fair). All they need is their own
accounts.
I have a sheet near the computer: "Computer Today - Yes/No" with a pic
of the G5 with velcro on the back that can be moved to Yes or No on a
daily basis; below that are the three cardinal rules: "1. Hands to
yourself. 2. Listen to Mom and Dad. 3. Politeness and Respect." My
strong-willed 6-year-old knows that the G5 will very easily shift to
No if the rules aren't followed, without warnings. Wish she didn't
like playing so much on it, but she's like her dad...
MacMinder's terrific and easy: besides controlling which apps can be
used, you can have the timer send a message, with a 2-minute warning,
saying time's up... and then it's all done! She's good with it
because it's not "me," but the Mac, that says "Time's up!"
Dave
boys -- 11 yrs, 7 yrs, almost 2. My wife and I don't totally agree on
"screen time" but we present a united front. Here are our guidelines.
-- first, we have found that different "screen activities" have
different effects on the kids' behavior, so we treat them each a little
differently.
-- all of our boys are readers. They love books (even the toddler).
That makes me a little more comfortable with the screen-related
activities. We often sit everyone down for a 'reading party'where we
all just find a place to sprawl and read, and enjoy the quiet with each
other.
-- "mind junk" is what we have dubbed TV, videos, gameboy, and
recreational computer games. (The "recreational" designation is pretty
arbitrary-- but like pornography, we know it when we see it.) The guys
get 30 minutes of mind junk per weekday. Time expires each day -- you
can't save up for a marathon. So whether it is SpongeBob or Age of
Empires, it's 30 minutes per kid per day. The RosettaStone language
program is off the recreational clock, but we try to set some limits
with that too. As we all know, a lot of time in front of a flickering
screen ain't the best thing for anyone. We haven't yet run into the
issue of computer "work" -- e.g., learning to program. Frankly, I'm not
sure how we're going to handle this.
-- GameCube is our game system of choice, and we find that we need to
manage it differently from other screen time. At times we lament ever
having gotten it -- not because the games are a problem in themselves
-- but because it is truly addictive. No Cube-time on week days. 30
minutes per kid on Sat and Sun. If they play a multiplayer game, they
can pool their time and get an hour of play. My observation is that
adults often see computer games (like TV) as a solitary, alienating
experience, while kids often turn it into a social-interaction
activity. Our older boy coaches his younger brother through the tough
spots in Zelda. So far the Cube games are somehow qualitatively
different from the computer (Mac) based games, but that may be because
I've been very selective about the computer games themselves.
Time limits are pretty strictly enforced (using the timer on the
stove). It is clear that it is not realistic (and probably not fair) to
make kids be self-policing on this.
-- TV is probably the most controversial media in our house. My wife
and I watch very little TV. I'm of the opinion that it is not good to
be media-illiterate, while my wife thinks it's pretty much all a giant
mind-suck. But then, she doesn't watch Deadwood . . .
-- I'm a little pissed that Cartoon network doesn't show Looney Tunes
any more. I used to love hanging out early mornings with my boys
watching Bugs et al. Our little one sees very little TV. At times, as
all parents know, you just have to resort to a Sesame Street video in
order to get a shower. . . but there is not starker example of the
power of the medium than to observe a very young child watching.
Terrence McKenna argued that TV was a "drug", and I really don't think
he was far off on that count. If you doubt, try telling a pre-verbal
human who wants to watch TV that he can't . . . . . Since I refer to
TV as the "Toddler Hypnosis Unit," the older boys do too, when it comes
to viewing with their little brother. They definitely get it.
-- Friday nights are family movie-and-pizza night. It's the only time
we ever have the TV on during a meal (the TV isn't anywhere close to
the kitchen). We all sit down in front of the tube and watch a movie
together. We alternate/negotiate between the two older boys as to who
picks the flick. Sometimes I just pick something I think they'll like,
but have never been exposed to. It's more than 30 minutes, so they know
they get bonus mind junk, and if the movie choices are good, they're
happy to skip the low-budget stuff on TV.
I haven't tried any of the computer based timers, but find that a
loudly beeping stove timer lets everyone within earshot know that
time's up.
My oldest son uses the timer on his watch, but it's the kid equivalent
of hitting the snooze button.