I would be grateful if the smart members of this group would share:
--their policies for screen time for their kids, i.e., how much time do you allow them to spend (weekly or daily) on the computer, playing video games, or watching t.v. and at what age? (Any related hints or tips are welcome.)
--recommendations for a timer that my son and I could use, ideally one that counts down, to monitor his screen time.
We have limited total screen time to an hour per day for weekdays
during the school year, We don't use a timer, though, which is a pain
since the adult becomes the time monitor.
an inexpensive digital kitchen timer should work fine. As long as the
is no need to be concerned about someone resetting the time.
We use the old fashioned spring driven kitchen timer for the times we
use a time limit for getting ready to go somewhere.
> I would be grateful if the smart members of this group would share:
> --their policies for screen time for their kids, i.e., how much time do
> you allow them to spend (weekly or daily) on the computer, playing
> video games, or watching t.v. and at what age? (Any related hints or
> tips are welcome.)
> --recommendations for a timer that my son and I could use, ideally one
> that counts down, to monitor his screen time.
> Many thanks.
-- :: Norm ::
bringing you uninspired signatures since 1995
On school nights, I limit my 8.5-year-old daughter to a half hour of total screen time (tv,computer,game boy) but sometimes if she doesn't have any homework the two of us will watch something together. Since I work and she's in afterschool care until quite late, there isn't usually much extra time.
On Shabbat (Friday Sundown to Saturday Sundown) we turn off the TV and computers *entirely*, with the exception that we might watch a movie together. I do this, not because I'm an Orthodox Jew but because to me, turning the screens off makes it truly a day of rest and a time to reconnect with each other.
My daughter's with her dad half the time, and so usually Sunday is her catch-up-on-screen-time day (after Sunday school and when there's no soccer or homework)
In the summer we've become a bit more lax but I still limit the time, and keep an eye on what she's watching.
We have a great kitchen timer which I got at Walgreen's. Brand name is Kitchen Gourmet. Although it doesnt' say so ANYWHERE on the box, the nice thing about this timer is that it has 5-minute and 2.5-minute warning beeps, which really help with transitions.
I don't want to insult those of you who limit the time their children spend behind the computer/TV/console/etc, but I was raised differently and would like to submit the method my parents used. I rather liked it.
I was allowed to watch as much TV as I wanted, spend as much time on the computer as I wanted, game as much as I wanted. The only rules were simple: I was to finish my homework properly, and I was to arrive for dinner on time and stay for the duration - no matter what game I was playing or TV show was on. Failure to do so would mean that (temporary) limits would be applied as punishment.
This meant: If I wanted to watch TV or use the computer, I would have to plan it in such a way that I still had time to finish my homework and spend the requisite 2 hours at the dinner table with my family (I think I was better at planning when I was an 8 year old than I am now as a 24 year old with a whole GTD system at my disposal). I was responsible for how I spent my time. This taught me to be independent and take responsibility for my own choices. If I failed to finish a report, I'd screwed up and I'd have noone to blame but myself.
That aside, I consider that most of the applicable skills I have as a young adult come from the many hours I spent behind a computer, using graphic and DTP software or programming. Most of my language skills come from watching TV (but that's probably a dutch thing, since we get so much foreign language programming here). And though I really hate bringing it up, my hand-eye coordination probably got one helluva boost from all those computer games I played. I have an edge over the other kids I knew in those days because I'm technologically adept. I embrace technology because I was raised to use it as a normal part of life. These days that's inevitable, tech is everywhere around our children, but I still think it's a valid point. I'd prefer to have my kids be on the rising part of the tech curve, instead of dragging behind it with the bulk of the population.
It is (supposedly) designed to let you know when your tea is steeped,
but you can set the timer for hours, minutes, seconds; or you cen set
it for a time of day. It counts down, and Big Ben sounds when your time
is up. There is also a "tea timer for lefties" included, for fun.
I use it even in preference to the very nice Presto timer I bought at
Amazon, because I get such a smile out of Big Ben instead of the
annoying and persistent beeps and buzzes of most timers.
Interesting question, and one which I deal with regularly. I am the
father of six (and a half, currently) children, which adds a rather
complex element. With such a variance in ages and needs, monitoring
television for time, content, and making sure that everyone has her or
his homework done is a huge task.
Our solution is pretty straightforward, because non-straightforward is
unworkable. Even in smaller families, I suspect, good intentions get
lost in the busyness of family life. Plus, I've got enough of my own
stuff to do to keep track of how many hours Teddy has spent playing
Metroid. We have tried it and failed.
During the school year, there's really no TV or mindless computer time
after school. There's hardly time, anyway. Once we eat dinner and do
homework, it's quiet time for the little kids and so the tube stays
off. It was not an official rule, but it has become how our family
operates. They don't even ask.
Fridays after school and Saturdays are free-for-all. We don't limit
quantity at all (except for the general, "It's a beautiful day, turn
off the TV and play outside for a while!"), though our family
standards remain intact.
Sundays are our Sabbath, and we also do not watch TV much at all.
Occasionally we'll do something family-oriented, but it's almost
exclusively recorded media. I'll check the score of the Red Sox game
and check my email before bed to make sure no students have sent in a
desperate plea for help, but otherwise it's pretty silent. As Betsy
mentioned above, it's a great time to connect with each other. The
kids know it's how we operate and don't complain. Really.
We do have very specific and unvariable standards for quality. We do
not watch R-rated films, and no kid under 13 may watch a PG-13 without
explicit parental approval. Most PG movies are OK, though we reserve
the right to veto anything.
I've eliminated the channels I don't approve of my kids watching. It
was easy, since there's so many crap channels anyway. They don't have
the money for QVC, etc, and don't speak Spanish, so there's no need
for Univision. Along with those went any station I didn't like for my
kids. At our house, there's no Cartoon Network, though Nick is OK. We
recently put Disney back in the rotation, but it's about to get kicked
off out of sheer annoyance (More overacting tweens! Make them stop!
Self-referential commercials! Argh! Lip-syncing Pseudo Pop Stars!
EEEEiieeeee!). You get the idea. ESPN stays in despite questions about
Viagra because, hey, I have needs too.
Basically, for our family we have open windows for screen time when
they have free reign (within prescribed limits) and closed windows
when they have to find other amusements. Our rules are logical (and,
importantly, the kids also understand, accept, and share the logic)
and generally consistent. Plus, it's always satisfying then to see my
kids playing outside on a Saturday because, "I just didn't want to
watch anything."
--jw
(These work for the school kids. Those too young for school wind up
with some TV time every day, but it gets sandwiched in between chores
and the general chaos of large family life, and is always before
school gets out.)
> I would be grateful if the smart members of this group would share:
> --their policies for screen time for their kids, i.e., how much time do
> you allow them to spend (weekly or daily) on the computer, playing
> video games, or watching t.v. and at what age? (Any related hints or
> tips are welcome.)
> --recommendations for a timer that my son and I could use, ideally one
> that counts down, to monitor his screen time.
I have 3 daughters, ages 15, 12 and 9, all of whom enjoy the computer as well as other things. However, the computer is so seductive that without limits they could stay there for a looooooong time. We used to use the kitchen timer approach, but it didn't work that well, partly because they'd sometimes want to take their time in a few chunks, and partly because my wife and I didn't want to have to police the timer.
I ended up buying a program called MacMinder (Mac OS X only), which is not too expensive and has a lot of flexibility. You limit each user account--you can restrict which programs they can use, as well as total time per day(or time on specific programs, I think--I don't use this feature). There are warning beeps as the time limit approaches.
We created a "homework" account which allows full access to a word processor but no browser. If they need to go online to do research, they have to check in with one of us.
Their own accounts are unrestricted with regard to programs, but they have a 30 min daily limit which they can slice and dice as they want. So my 9 year old, who likes to play games, usually does it all in one chunk. My 15 year old, who likes to IM and email, tends to go in several short chunks, coming back to recheck the IM and email periodically.
The program also allows you to extend the time on a given day (if you want to give them a treat). I've found it very easy to use and very useful.
We don't have video games, so that's out of the mix. We don't explicitly limit TV time, but they don't often spend too long there; if we notice that one or more of them has been in front of the TV for a longish chunk of time, we boot them out.
This was a great question, Judine--thanks for bringing it up! Ben
Judine wrote: > I would be grateful if the smart members of this group would share:
> --their policies for screen time for their kids, i.e., how much time do > you allow them to spend (weekly or daily) on the computer, playing > video games, or watching t.v. and at what age? (Any related hints or > tips are welcome.)
> --recommendations for a timer that my son and I could use, ideally one > that counts down, to monitor his screen time.
Some of the stuff on TV is pretty vile. The only show that is formally banned at our house is Josh and Drake (the Amanda show is on sufferance) but I hate how the Disney channel portrays pre-teens and I keep a close watch on it. I'd probably be laxer about computer time if my daughter were programming, but mostly she's doing point-and-click games, or hanging out in Runescape where there are a lot of boys who like to try to talk dirty (to an 8-year-old!). So I don't think screen time is doing that much good for her. I've let her spend a little extra time with the Sims sometimes, or doing things with me.
When my kids were younger we used a poker chip system. They earned
chips (of various time denominations: 15, 30, and 60 minutes) through
doing chores, completing homework, grades, performing household
routines-- and they could redeem those chips for computer, television,
and telephone time. On the whole, they ended up with between 6-10
hours per week they could spend. Sounds like a lot, but spread between
internet, telephone, playstation, and television, it's not a lot.
Exempt from the time recording was legitimate student work,
educational computer use, and family movie times...
I am a 15-year old. My parents make me read for as much time as I spend on the computer. This might seem "fair", but it's not. It makes it seem like books are the "good guy" and computers are the exact opposite, the "bad guy".
Consider my case. I could easily spend 5 hours straight on the computer for educational purposes. My parents do not even consider what I did on the computer, they basically assume anything done on the computer makes me stupid and I have to read books to make up for it. I spend almost 100% of my time on the computer reading articles, journals, participating in discussions and debates, and researching things (currently steam engines :) ).
Computers and technology are the future. Don't hold your children back. I'm glad I was able to use computers this much because even at my age of 15, I am already ahead of many older adults. I taught myself how to program, and more recently how to design websites. I even have a successful website that makes a few hundred dollars a month.
Basically, what I'm saying is that TV and computers are not the "bad guys" (well, at least not all the time). Sure, there are some things you'll want to restrict, like certain video games, cartoons, and other things that don't stimulate your mind. But there are plenty of educational shows on TV, and plenty of educational websites, games, etc. You don't need to restrict your kids, you just need to guide them along the right path.
Thanks, Sovi3t. I agree that there are tremendous things on screens -- even on t.v. And I'm open to technology providing new solutions -- we've just found that "Dance Dance Revolution" (on Playstation II) is a great way to add exercise to my 10-year-old's routine. I am concerned mostly about mindless video games and t.v.
I try very hard not to log or limit my kid's reading time, because she loves to read and I don't want to turn it from a pleasure to a burden.
When it comes to screen time, though , I just can't see that it's good for her to spend hours sitting and clicking. I would feel differently if she were programming or doing research, instead of playing Runescape or at popcap.com <http://popcap.com> (fun site if you want to waste time! I have to limit my own time there!) But, I'm sure when she gets older she'll be able to make a case for that. Right now though she's only 8.5 and entering third grade, so she needs those hours of imaginative play.
> Consider my case. I could easily spend 5 hours straight on the computer
> for educational purposes. My parents do not even consider what I did on
> the computer, they basically assume anything done on the computer makes
> me stupid and I have to read books to make up for it. I spend almost
> 100% of my time on the computer reading articles, journals,
> participating in discussions and debates, and researching things
> (currently steam engines :) ).
So, get /books/ on steam engines from the library - this would allow
you to spend your computer time doing other stuff. There's also good
books on software engineering that will put you light years ahead of
folks that simply know how to write code.
Some of that stuff is simply not available on-line. It's either too
old, or too restricted.
Well now, this is getting pretty interesting! Reading books or
tinkering with the computer, either one is my idea of heaven, usually.
But when I was a teenager, my parents worried because I spent all my
time reading and no time playing basketball. My hobbies - photography,
art, reading, punk rock - all were very important to me and played a
part in what I did the rest of my life (punk rock less so.)
I guess what I am saying, Sovi3t, is I know how you feel, except that
I love reading and wouldn't mind being "forced" to read, assuming I
got to choose what to read. Like Bryan said, there are great books
about software engineering that you could be reading.
Much of the good stuff about anything that was developed pre-www is
going to be in books somewhere anyway. Though I bet there are some
really cool websites about hobbyist steam engines.
> On 8/2/05, Sovi3t <thesov...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > Consider my case. I could easily spend 5 hours straight on the computer
> > for educational purposes. My parents do not even consider what I did on
> > the computer, they basically assume anything done on the computer makes
> > me stupid and I have to read books to make up for it. I spend almost
> > 100% of my time on the computer reading articles, journals,
> > participating in discussions and debates, and researching things
> > (currently steam engines :) ).
> So, get /books/ on steam engines from the library - this would allow
> you to spend your computer time doing other stuff. There's also good
> books on software engineering that will put you light years ahead of
> folks that simply know how to write code.
> Some of that stuff is simply not available on-line. It's either too
> old, or too restricted.
-- :: Norm ::
bringing you uninspired signatures since 1995
Why do you want to limit their time on the TV? Does your actions (with respect to recreation) equally reflect the goals you want to instill in your children? Must everything recreational also be anti-educational? Does it matter? Do they have alternatives that are equally engaging? How do you share your interests with them? How do you understand their interests?
We do impose restrictions as to what they can watch on TV and the Internet and we actively monitor what our kids watch on TV and visit online. However we simply dont have a rule for how much time they spend on that versus "other things." I do boot them out when its nice outside, but its not too hard to do that either. My wife and I simply did not want to start a conflct (books vs. TV) where one should not and does not exsist. We do encourage alternatives and our house is littered with sports equipment, musical instruments, books and art supplies thoughout the house. It is so littered with these "lo tech" toys because they chose those diversions, on their own.
My wife and I have not only created a culture of diverse choices, but we practice it. we are avid readers, and we have our books as well strewn hither an yon. We make trips to the library at least on a weekly basis. They see us read and hear us discuss the books we read. We exercise and play sports with our children. We also play computer games with my kids and watch tv, sometimes for hours!
The results -- well does it matter? They can read very well, they have friends and are socially engaged, they use their imaginations as they build forts and scare each other with monster stories. yada, yada, yada...
I think it is important to examine and articulate the motivation for placing such a restriction between yourself and your spouse as well as your children. I think there is as much that is good from both a recreational and educational on both forms of electronic media.
I personally believe that television has a detrimental effect on
attention span and creativity. So I *do* choose to limit the amount of
time the kids watch (I watch even less :) and it is really independent
from their other activities. I feel similarly about many computer
games and mindless browsing/im/chatting. I also believe some of these
activities can be somewhat addictive and lead to an unwillingness to
expend the mental effort to do other, ultimately more rewarding
activities.
However, as the earlier poster pointed out, computer skills are a good
thing and there are a lot of "good" things that can be done on the
computer. I work out some compromises-- I don't want my son playing
his games all the time, so his time is limited. But if he is building
his own bots or programming levels or whatever, I consider all that
"Educational" time that doesn't count.
I am firmly with you on practicing what you preach. I watch less
television, don't play any computer games except the occasional game
of chess, and they hear my timer going off to keep me on track when I
am surfing and playing in my own way...
I never use reading as a punishment or as a way to build up time to do
other things. It's up to them to figure out what they want to do, and
reading is one of those things... and it has to be its own reward.
I'm just as happy if they are outside playing with friends, drawing,
listening to music, or whatever else they might choose to do.
Mac OS X 10.4 + Lumacode's MacMinder (~$30) is a great solution. Never worry about mine going to sites I don't want to or
sending/receiving emails to people I don't want them to (Mac); and can
time a single or groups of programs by usage, even stopping the timer
when in the background (to be fair). All they need is their own
accounts.
I have a sheet near the computer: "Computer Today - Yes/No" with a pic
of the G5 with velcro on the back that can be moved to Yes or No on a
daily basis; below that are the three cardinal rules: "1. Hands to
yourself. 2. Listen to Mom and Dad. 3. Politeness and Respect." My
strong-willed 6-year-old knows that the G5 will very easily shift to
No if the rules aren't followed, without warnings. Wish she didn't
like playing so much on it, but she's like her dad...
MacMinder's terrific and easy: besides controlling which apps can be
used, you can have the timer send a message, with a 2-minute warning,
saying time's up... and then it's all done! She's good with it
because it's not "me," but the Mac, that says "Time's up!"
Wow. This is such a rich topic, with lots of side channels. I've got 3 boys -- 11 yrs, 7 yrs, almost 2. My wife and I don't totally agree on "screen time" but we present a united front. Here are our guidelines.
-- first, we have found that different "screen activities" have different effects on the kids' behavior, so we treat them each a little differently.
-- all of our boys are readers. They love books (even the toddler). That makes me a little more comfortable with the screen-related activities. We often sit everyone down for a 'reading party'where we all just find a place to sprawl and read, and enjoy the quiet with each other.
-- "mind junk" is what we have dubbed TV, videos, gameboy, and recreational computer games. (The "recreational" designation is pretty arbitrary-- but like pornography, we know it when we see it.) The guys get 30 minutes of mind junk per weekday. Time expires each day -- you can't save up for a marathon. So whether it is SpongeBob or Age of Empires, it's 30 minutes per kid per day. The RosettaStone language program is off the recreational clock, but we try to set some limits with that too. As we all know, a lot of time in front of a flickering screen ain't the best thing for anyone. We haven't yet run into the issue of computer "work" -- e.g., learning to program. Frankly, I'm not sure how we're going to handle this.
-- GameCube is our game system of choice, and we find that we need to manage it differently from other screen time. At times we lament ever having gotten it -- not because the games are a problem in themselves -- but because it is truly addictive. No Cube-time on week days. 30 minutes per kid on Sat and Sun. If they play a multiplayer game, they can pool their time and get an hour of play. My observation is that adults often see computer games (like TV) as a solitary, alienating experience, while kids often turn it into a social-interaction activity. Our older boy coaches his younger brother through the tough spots in Zelda. So far the Cube games are somehow qualitatively different from the computer (Mac) based games, but that may be because I've been very selective about the computer games themselves.
Time limits are pretty strictly enforced (using the timer on the stove). It is clear that it is not realistic (and probably not fair) to make kids be self-policing on this.
-- TV is probably the most controversial media in our house. My wife and I watch very little TV. I'm of the opinion that it is not good to be media-illiterate, while my wife thinks it's pretty much all a giant mind-suck. But then, she doesn't watch Deadwood . . .
-- I'm a little pissed that Cartoon network doesn't show Looney Tunes any more. I used to love hanging out early mornings with my boys watching Bugs et al. Our little one sees very little TV. At times, as all parents know, you just have to resort to a Sesame Street video in order to get a shower. . . but there is not starker example of the power of the medium than to observe a very young child watching. Terrence McKenna argued that TV was a "drug", and I really don't think he was far off on that count. If you doubt, try telling a pre-verbal human who wants to watch TV that he can't . . . . . Since I refer to TV as the "Toddler Hypnosis Unit," the older boys do too, when it comes to viewing with their little brother. They definitely get it.
-- Friday nights are family movie-and-pizza night. It's the only time we ever have the TV on during a meal (the TV isn't anywhere close to the kitchen). We all sit down in front of the tube and watch a movie together. We alternate/negotiate between the two older boys as to who picks the flick. Sometimes I just pick something I think they'll like, but have never been exposed to. It's more than 30 minutes, so they know they get bonus mind junk, and if the movie choices are good, they're happy to skip the low-budget stuff on TV.
I haven't tried any of the computer based timers, but find that a loudly beeping stove timer lets everyone within earshot know that time's up. My oldest son uses the timer on his watch, but it's the kid equivalent of hitting the snooze button.
